I always loved you
by GerardSprings
Summary: Eiko still thinks about zidane, 12 years after she left. What if he turned up at Madain Sari?


# 'I always loved you…'

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Author's note (as usual): Hey, I'm back again. You can skip this bit, if you really want to, but I'd rather you didn't :) This is one of my few serious fics, which I now want to write more of, and my first romance. I've discovered that I probably have a real talent for angst, having no social life and no friends :) This is probably why _most_ writers write anyway :) But anyway, I have never been in a real relationship before, and was a cynic at 3 so this will not be your average romance. Happy ending? Yes. Happy way to get there? Unknown. I suppose it will depend on how much Limp Bizkit and Eminem I listen to at the time ;) It might also turn out to be a bit of a lemon, but I write what comes to me, so I don't know yet. So stay on your toes :) Finally, on with the fic…

It had been twelve years since the end, but it seemed like no time at all. The only real indicator to her was how she had changed, both mentally and physically. There is a large and obvious difference between an eighteen year old and a six year old, physically. Mentally, she had changed surprisingly little. She was always mature for her age, but travelling with Zidane and the rest had forced her to grow up fast. Zidane… She still wished it could have been different. She had never heard what happened with Zidane and Dagger, mainly because she didn't want to know the answer. 

After the end, she had just returned to Madain Sari, and lived out her life as she would have if she had never met him. She wished he could see her now. As a child, she was always told she was cute. But she had really wanted to be called beautiful. Cute was a tag applied to a child, or a small animal. But beautiful… Dagger was beautiful. Maybe that's it, she thought. I was a cute little child. Dagger was Zidane's age, and beautiful. But she was never a cute little child on the inside. She realized, with a pang, that the childhood she had only just left was probably so different to Zidane's.

She had never really known anyone her own age. Vivi was the closest, but… She could never really feel any strong feelings for him. Of course, she still thought of him as a friend, but could never even imagine him as anything more. She had heard news of Vivi. He was lucky. He never… stopped, for reasons neither her nor Vivi really wanted to know. The other mages were constructed of mist and magic. But Vivi's prototype construction needed a base for its effects. Some poor child was used. His memory of his short human life had been erased, and he had been treated with mist solution and magic. But evil and twisted as this was, it cleared up his life for him, let him live it without guilt. For he now knew that behind the mask, he was as human as anyone else. And his life was not his fault. He had found peace. Eiko wished she had too.

But what was she to know about love… She had never loved anyone but Zidane. And he hadn't loved her back. Or not in the way that he loved Dagger. He loved her in the way one loves a little sister, or a close family friend. But, she thought… it was still love… She suddenly felt bad for running off. She had left nothing, never said anything. One night, she just left. For all she knew, they could still be searching for her. 

But what if they found her? Would they recognise her anymore? She looked totally different now. She still wore her blue hair the same way. Still wore the same bow. And still wore the earrings of her tribe. As a child they had never suited her, made her look like the kind of child who pretended to be an adult. But then, she was that kind of child. But now… She was beautiful. She was tall and slim, but her lifestyle had given her muscle. She could hold her own in a fight, which she rarely had to, these days. But she had been attacked by many a predator, and had always come out on top. But every time she fought, she thought back to the times she was with Zidane, where she fought with purpose. Her face had matured, but her expressions stayed the same. Inside, she had changed little.

She got out of bed, and opened the makeshift curtains. The sun, as usual in a desert, was bright and warm. The moogles she had always lived with came rushing to her, to greet her. She got dressed, wearing pants and a top she had attempted to make herself. They looked crude, but the were functional. She walked to her kitchen, and took the leftovers of last nights fish of her little shelf. She started a fire with magic, and put the fish on. This, in itself, should have been an impossibility. The thought among those who used and studied magic was that one was born into a type, and could only ever use what came to them naturally. But she had much time to herself over the years, as well as her time with Vivi, and had learned that she could practice some rudimentary 'black' magic. But not being born into it, she could only really do things like light fires. But it was something, and it passed the time. She had also taught herself the art of fighting physically, after she found a dagger Zidane had left the first time he came to the village. She could use it now, and, in her own opinion, use it well. Thoughts of Zidane almost brought teats to her eyes. Stupid, she thought. Stupid, stupid, stupid. She had to get over the guy! She took the fish off the fire and ate it quickly, throwing the small bones of the edge of her balcony, set into the cliff. The day was nice, not to hot. A good day for a long walk, she thought.

She left the village, and set out towards the lifa tree. The sand on the path felt good under her bare feet, and the thoughts of the morning were forgotten. She never wore shoes, and her feet were tough from always walking barefoot. She reached a bluff, overlooking the tree, and it's mass of roots. She liked the green of the canopy, the way the roots gripped the earth. She had always come here, even as a child, and it was nice to have a small glimpse back into the past. She turned and looked at the nearby town of the dwarves, she tried to spot some people, but saw nobody. She remembered when she had first met Zidane, after he and Dagger had got 'married'. They probably had for real, by now. Probably already had children. A life she would never have. She wished life for her was like the life of her ancestors. She wished the village was still there in entirety, not ruined and empty of all but ghosts and memories. But a wish was all it was, and all it could ever be. She shook herself out of her thoughts, and headed back for the village. The day had become hot quickly, and she felt like a swim. She walked down to the small river near the Eidolon wall, and undressed. She didn't mind that she was naked, the only people around were moogles. They didn't care, and modesty had never been her defining feature, anyway. She dived into the cool water, and it felt wonderful against her skin. My ancestors sure chose a good spot for a village, she thought to herself. She swam for a while, then got out of the river. She was still to wet to get dressed, and she was tired from the walking and the swimming. She found a soft patch of sand, and laid down for a rest.

She was quickly awakened a few hours later by a splash of water. "What the hell?" she yelped in surprise. She looked around, and saw Zidane, standing at the river, with a huge grin on his face. "What the hell?" she repeated, as she grabbed her clothes to hide herself. "Why hurry?" Zidane said with a grin. "I've been here for over an hour…" She saw the logic in this, and dropped the clothes, but was still a little annoyed. Little being an understatement. Having Zidane back didn't occur to her in it's full depth. "Bloody hell, Zidane, couldn't you have woken me a bit earlier?" she yelled. He came down and sat next to her. " I wasn't particularly worried by the situation… And you were sleeping…" "Rouge! How dare you take advantage of a lady like that!" she joked, aiming a playful slap at his head. But Zidane was used to being slapped, and knew when to dodge. One learns certain skills over the years. "Anyway" Zidane added a little sheepishly " I wasn't entirely sure it was you for a while. It has been quite a while since I saw you last, and you've…ahem…grown a lot…" He looked her up and down, appraisingly."yes" she replied sarcastically " I have, haven't I. And stop staring." She laughed, and Zidane grinned again. "Why don't we go back up to my house. I haven't spoken to anyone in years! I think I'll get dressed first, though. I don't think I can trust you, with your reputation…" she said, with a wicked grin "Aww. Just when I was having fun" Zidane complained jokingly, quickly dodging another slap "I'll turn my back, if you really want me to" Zidane offered. "Like you said Zidane, Is there really any point?" she replied, then quickly got dressed, guiltily wishing that she didn't have to… But no, Zidane was still probably with Dagger, and would never even think of it. 

They began walking up the path. It had finally dawned on Eiko that Zidane was here, he had come looking for her, that he had found her. A wild sense of hope bubbled up inside her, but she quickly forced it back. Zidane had probably come looking for her out of worry, and would return to Dagger. But maybe, just maybe, there was a chance. She would have to find out. But It was better to just be a friend, for now. If something developed, well… She would leave it to chance. Zidane interrupted her thoughts. "So, what have you been doing all these years, Eiko? Apart from losing any sense of modesty you once may have had, and swimming nude?" he said with a mischievous grin. She giggled, and replied "Absolutely nothing. Living here alone. And swimming nude." They both laughed at this, and Eiko thought that this was good enough. Friends. A feeling of peace settled over her.

"What have you been doing, Zidane? How's Dagger?" "Not too well, actually." He replied, a little sadly. "Especially with Dagger." That's why I came to see you.". "Things were great for a while, but then I realised that love isn't always right the first time. Needless to say, we broke up. I wandered around aimlessly for a while then decided that I needed a close friend to talk to. So I came to see you. But I never intended to find you in the nude. That was a bonus!" He said, cheering up considerably, and the both laughed. But Eiko was a little surprised, that Zidane had come to see her, and not Blank, or anyone else. Did this mean something? Probably not. She supposed that it was the almost Brother/Sister bond between them that brought him here. They arrived at her house. "You must be pretty hungry, Zidane. I'll start cooking something for dinner" She said, and headed for thekitchen. Zidane seemed lost in thought, so she asked "What were you thinking about?" " I remember the time I first came here, with all the others, and you cooked for us. But you messed up and didn't cook enough, and Quina got annoyed. But this time you are only cooking for two." He said, a little wistfully, then added with a smile, "Just the way you would have wanted it then!" Eiko laughed, and then began cooking. She told Zidane"I'll cook the same thing I did last time, then. Let's see if my skills have improved!" and with that she set to work on the stove. 

A few minutes later, they were sitting at the small table in Eiko's house. "This tastes great, Eiko. Your cooking skills have improved!" complimented Zidane "Flatterer!" replied Eiko, with a slightly shy smile. They continued eating, without saying anything. Eiko found herself staring into Zidane's eyes, but quickly looked away when he met her gaze. They finished eating, and walked outside to the balcony, and sat down on the low wall. They were silent for a while, in thought, then Zidane spoke. "Eiko" he said "Remember how you felt about me, all those years ago?" "Yeah…" She replied uncertainly " Then, you were six, and I was still with Dagger. But now… You're eighteen, and I'm 26, and I've left Dagger behind… What I'm trying to say is… Do you still feel the same way, Eiko?" he finished, uncertainty in his voice as well. "Zidane… Over the twelve years I've been alone here, I've always thought 'what if I was older?'… So yeah… I guess I still feel the same way… I always have, and I probably always will." She replied, more confident, but with her voice full of emotion. "Well, do you want the answer to your question?" He asked her. "What question?" she replied, a little puzzled. "You know" said Zidane softly, "'What if you were older?' Does this answer it for you?". He leaned in, and kissed her. Eiko recovered from her surprise, and returned the kiss. "You know, Zidane… That's something I've wanted to do for twelve years" she said, with a grin. She pulled him closer to her, and kissed him again, probing his mouth with her tongue, exploring. Zidane didn't protest at all, he just continued. They broke off, and Eiko placed her arms around Zidane's neck. "You're a good kisser, Zidane." She said, smiling from ear to ear. She had finally had her childhood dream fulfilled, and she was happy. " I assume that was your first kiss, Eiko? You seemed to get the hang of things pretty fast…" "Yeah. I couldn't have chosen a better guy, either!" 

Authors Note: Hey how was it? I really want this reviewed, since I want to see how I went. I might write another chapter, If either a) I can find a reason to have one (more plot), or b) all you guys out there want more Eiko/Zidane sap! I could write the second easily. But more plot is a bit hard in a romance fic, after the point has been fulfilled So I think, more sap it is! Enjoy!

Hate mail, praise, love letters, ideas, comments, criticism, explosives, money, etc. can be sent to [Darktruth51@hotmail.com][1] Hope you all liked it!

   [1]: mailto:Darktruth51@hotmail.com



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